Never Ever Ever give your Yami a dollar
by Hazen and Kasey
Summary: Me and my new Yami Hazen are going around giving the Yami's a dollar and see what they do with it...Very interesting...oh nevermind...it's just downright disturbing...
1. Default Chapter

Never Ever Ever Give Your Yami A Dollar

Disclaimer- Kasey...does...n't...own...uh...WHATS MY LINES AGAIN? oh yea, YuGiOh

"Well put..." I said, "Anyway, I have some great news! I finally have a Yami! Her...his... IT'S name is Hazen. If you wanna find out more 'bout Hazen... read my profile...no really read my profile! I live in a box and the repo man is coming tomorrow! OH MY RA PLEASE SEND ME MONEY!" I'm like... sweating... ewww...

"What my... _annoying_ hikari is trying to tell you...is please review... anyway, let's get started shall we?" my, secretly evil yami said. "NO! Before we get started I must tell you! If you haven't read my story " this is me screwing things up", please hurry! My bestest friend Sarai ( who STILL didn't put me in her story) told me i can't put my story in script form...

if you don't know what that means...LOOK IT UP!" I said. "Ok, this is going to be like the first chapter... just us arguing..." EVIL Hazen said. "That would be cool huh? Let's do that!" I said...happily... "(cough)GAY(cough)" My stupid baka evilly put together yami said.

"Ok, well, the story will be about what happens when you give your Yami money...this story is also dedicated to my science fair topic...this will be my topic. But I'm going to get an F i bet...or worse... a GGG! Cause my teacher don't even know I have a Yami..." I said... while my stupid baka evilly put together yami is slapping her head. "Did you know...if we stop the chapter now, this will be like the shortest chapter in history!" I said giggling like a school girl.

"My gosh your stupid..." Hazen said partly to herself but loud enough so I can hear it but really she did that on purpose but she's like acting like she did that on accident...get it? Didn't think so. "Ok, since I'm trying to make this a talking chapter I just wanted to say...now stay with me here...don't walk over there! god...ok, anyway... I VOTED FOR PEDRO!" I looked at Hazen...she kinda looks like death...'sept much prettier...but she looks like me, hmmmm...

"Ok, this is getting REALLY annoying...your really pissing me off." Hazen said. "Ohhhhh...you said the P- worrrrrrrrrrd!" I said like I'm in the second grade. "Whoop-de-doo", was all that came from that evilly put together yami." Hey... while we're waiting...why don't you tell me...who's your favorite charactor? Just review to tell me..heh heh heh..." I laughed weakly. "Dude, we all know that's just a cheap way to get reviews...", Hazen said. "But I bet It'll work. I'll make a bet. If 10 people tell me who their favorite charactor is, you have to give me 10 dollars.If there is less than 10 people, I'll give _you_ 10 dollars. Deal?" I asked. "Deal" Hazen said as we shook hands.** 'She's such a sucker. I'm so going to win.'**Hazen thought.** The sky looks yellow... is that normal?'** I thought.

And THAT is why I wrote this story. But, In order to coninue this story, you need to give me reviews. It doesn't matter if I get more than 10 people telling me who their favorite charactor is. To be honest, I just thought of what would happen if I got 10m or more anyway... I know this chapter didn't even have ANYTHING to do with Yu-Gi-Oh. But I promise It will. If I get reviews...LOOK! I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT CLEAR I NEED REVIEWS TO CONTINUE THIS STORY! "Ok, this chapter is still to short. So, I made another story. It's called Mirror World. It's under General. There bis no summery though. I know I made one but they didn't show it." I said. "Isn't that sad... you can't even spell, summary." Hazen snickered...I mean ate a snicker bar.(Don't ask.) "WELL EXCUSE ME! I'M JUST TRYING TO TAKE UP SOME TIME BY TALKING ABOUT THINGS OTHER THAN YUGIOH! BUT BELIEVE ME PEOPLE, THIS IS ALL ABOUT YUGIOH. BUT NOT THIS CHAPTER. CAUSE...I DON'T KNOW." I shouted... I lie... I didn't shout. I just wrote in it big letters.

"Well, that took up about 3 lines." Hazen said...CHEWING GUM? "Where'd you get the gum huh Haze, I said, putting her in a headlock, "give me some gum! I'm telling mom if you don't give me some gum!" I said. "Well, for starters, your mom doesn't even know I exist. I'm just an inner thought of your so called mind." Hazen said scientificlyly.(yes, I said scientificlyly on purpose.) "...huh?" I asked. "Ok, this chapter is LONG ENOUGH! We'll write back as soon as I get my 10 dollars." Hazen said. "AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!" I said. "AND GIVE ME SOME GUM TOO! I WANT GUM BECAUSE MY YAMI GOT SOME GUM AND-" I said as Hazen dragged me out of the room-er, fic.

So, plz review. and I'll post your reviews on the next chapter! byeness


	2. NEED CHOCOLATE

"THIS IS SO NOT COOL!" I said in pure anger. "Ok, don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that Anzu Mazaki13 and Seto's Sister are giving me reviews...BUT THAT'S IT!" I'm started getting red...ok, that's disturbing. "HELOO? Didn't you say you'd have a new chapter even if you didn't get 10 reviews?" Hazen asked. "oh yea," was all I said.

Plus I will post the reviews on here! coolio!" I giggled. "Ok, we'll do that. But, if you EVER say coolio again, I'm going to leap out of this chair, rip your eyes out, and shove 'em down your throat" oh my ra... "...COOLIO! COOLIO! COOLIO! COOLIO! COOLIO!" then as soon as I said that, I ran like hell. "Anyway, here are the reviews from the 2 (oh man I can't capitalize 2...) PEOPLE!

**Seto's Sister**: my favorite, dispite my pen name is Mokuba. he is innocent! I know it's not his fault that he's the younger brother of a self obbsessed idiot. but... i'd perfer the name Mokuba's Sister, but that sounded weird. by the way, did you get yur chewing gum?  
:-) (and yes I got my chewing gum after beating the crap out of Hazen)

**Anzu Mazaki:** I WANT SOME GUM! GIMME SOME GUM TOO!  
Anzu Mazaki (uh...)

"remember people, I will except any and all reviews...even...even..." I couldn't say it so Hazen slapped it out of me. "(while Haze slapped me) FLAMES! " I gagged on my own words...( a moment of silence). "Yea yea yea silence whatever can we please begin the fic?" Hazen...said.

"Ok Hazen. Let's start off with you. Since you...won...the bet, you get 10 dollars..." I'm so dissapointed! I thought I had more fans than that (but thank god I have fans, thank you guys!) "MUHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOL! I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED! NOW I CAN DESTROY THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAH!" Hazen...cackled (I looove that word! It remeinds me of snap crackle pop!).

"But first, I need to regain my sanity and go get Bakura. NO NOT THAT RYOU HIKARI!" Hazen glared at me. "I didn't say anything!" I squeaked...I'm a mouse... (never take me seriously) " I am going to spend my 10 dollars on...a flamethrower! MUAHAHAHAHAH!" Hazen said...or cackled. "YOU CANNOT BUY A FLAMETHROWER WITH 10 DOLLARS!" I yelled back. Ok, she just popped on a nearby motorcycle and drove off. Wait, I'm alone...I NEED CHOCOLATE!"

meanwhile back with Hazen

She drove up to Bakura's house. Then she slammed the door open, not caring if anything was happening. Then she saw uh... Bakura...poking Ryou, with a stick. "Get my god damn paper baka." Bakura said. " I can't, you put me in the cage." Ryou whinned. "Your a big boy, bite through the bars or something." Bakura snickered...I mean ate a snickers bar. "Bakura, get your but up we're blowing up the mall." Hazen just cut in. "What the hell? Who are you?" Bakura's all wide eyed and stuff... "I'm that weak idiotic hikari Kasey's yami Hazen. Now let's go. I got a flamethrower...and cheetos...( for some reason to me Bakura has some wierd obbsession with cheetos)" Hazen bribed. "Ok let's go!" Bakura hopped from the couch and left... "Guys...what about me? Bakura this is steel I can't bite through steel!

Back with me

I was laying in a ball rolling back and forth. "Chocolate. need chocolate. We're all chocolate. Chocolate for you and me." I sung, then I bit myself...

"do you think that was long enough?" I asked. "Hardly." was all Hazen said.Whats gonna happen next? Are Bakura and Hazen going to blow up the mall? Am I going to get my chocolate? Is Ryou getting out of that cage? And why is Mokuba just standing there?MOVE MOKUBA MOVE!


	3. the seal of orechjfdbi

I TOLD YOU IT WAS ABOUT YUGIOH! KIKOKIKNENOEM WILL NOT LISTEN! AND THIS IS NOT SELF...OBSESSED! KIKOKIKENIKOM OR WHATEVER YOU ARE. THIS IS ABOUT YUGIOH! SARAI HAS A STORY WITH A SELD CHARACTOR! WHY CAN'T I?ok then...

"Ok ok, when we left off, Haze and Bakura were gonna blow up the mall... I needed chocolate. And Mokuba was just standing there.

Oh, and Ryou was stuck in a cage. Let's go.!" me said.

with Hazen and what's his face...

"How fast does this thing go?" Bakura asked on the back of the motorcycle. " 'Bout...300 to 400 miles." Hazen said. "Yeah, I'm relieved." Bakura sighed (and an anime sweatdrop). "Oh lighten up. We're here!" Hazen said thrilled. Then she jumped off the motorcycle and rammed it onto another car. "That's what I'm talking about!" Hazen cackled (tee hee hee). "Wait...did I forget Bakura? OH CRAP! BAKURA! JUMP!" Hazen shouted. Too late. After the gas pipe exploded (if it makes sense) Bakura pretty much died. "Holy shit." Hazen stared at the explosion blankly. Then her eyes started glowing. They turned bright red and she held her hands out.

"Will magic power, I shall try. To heal Bakura, for he has DIED!" She shouted the last word aloud as Bakura's eyes slowly opened. Hazen's eyes went back to their normal color and she then dropped Bakura. "Ow...," Bakura said rubbing his head (hey that rhymed).

"Come on get up we gotta go destoy the mall!" Hazen whinned. "But...what the hell was that?" Bakura asked getting to his feet.

"Uh...what are...what are you talking about?" Hazen lied. "I...I don't know...I just don't know." They stood there for about 20 minutes. "Ok let's go." Hazen said.

Back with Ryou

"Open stupid door!" Ryou shouted as he gnawed through the bars hopelessly...

wow that was pointless...me, on the other hand...

"Ok, I'm cool. I'll just have to get someone to get my own chocolate. This will work." I said bresthing heailililily walking down the street. "I'll just go to Yugi's house and force Yami to get some chocolate. Why Yami? He looks so cute holding chocolate." I giggled. "Ok, here we are." I said. "I'm getting some funny looks at people because I'm talking to myself. "YEAH WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? YEA JUST KEEP WALKING!" I yelled at the fire hydrent. "Ok...I wonder how hard the door is?" then I got ideas in my head. "Ready or not here I come! GAHHHHHHHHHH!" I yelled as I knocked the door down, foaming at the mouth.

Inside the lame exuse for a shop was Solomum...with the lights turned off. (tee hee, reminds me of pokemon) "Hello, how may I help you today?" He asked...not seeing that his door was knocked down and I was foaming at the mouth. "Uh...is Yugi and Yami here?"I asked. "Oh sure. They're upstairs." he said. "Oh and one more thing, TURN THE GOD DAMN LIGHTS ON!" I yelled. "Will do. Would you like some tea some tea some tea some tea some tea" he continued on and on like a broken record. "Uh...no thanks..." I slowly tried to get upstairs. Then the strangest thing happened.

He broke. I mean his head just started zapping and making buzzy noises and what not. I was like...freakin out. I just ran upstairs...

"Ha! That's the third time in a row!" Yugi cheered as he beat his incredibly slow yami. That's when I walked in. "...HI YUGI! HI YAMI!" I said at the top of my lungs. Yugi gasped as he spun around to see who I was. "Who are you?" Yugi asked wide eyed. "That doesn't matter. But, if you _must_ know, my name is Kasey." I said with a cute little grin. "What would you possibly want in our home?" Yami asked all stupisish.

"What would you possibly want in our hooooooome. " I mimiced. "Yami, I have something for you."I said as I held up a badly drawn seal of oreachalcos (orechalcos, orekalkos, orecjdsfb, ect.) card with a badly drawn picture of Yugi on it. "This is your fault. So if ya want the pipsqueak back, go get me...some choc-"

I was in terupted by a voice coming from down stairs. "some tea some tea some tea some tea some tea some tea some tea" It was stupid granpa bot. "Hold on" I said as I stormed down stairs. I stepped to the side of grandpa bot and threw a shoe at him "Shut up!" I said as I walked back up stairs. "Now where were we?" I asked, "Oh! So Yami, if you ever wanna see Yugi again, get me...some chocolate!" I said, trying to hold in a laughthen his eyes grew big. "NOOOOOO! YUGI! IT WAS MY FAULT! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME AND NOT YOU! I'LL SAVE YOU!" he said as he put his coat on. "Oh Yugi will you watch the house while I go save you?" He asked in a normal voice. "But I'm right here." he said. "don't forget your 10 dollars!" I said as I raced to get downstairs.

"So, you wanna play Grand Theft Auto? " I asked. "Well, which one?" Yugi asked back. "San Andreas, duh. (I had to put that in there, highly recommended video game!) " I said. "...ok." he said as he put the game in.

with Yami

"Poor Yugi. I'll save you." He said as he walked into the candy store. "I'd like to buy some-" he looked at what it said written on his hand. "Cho...co...la...te" he said slowly. "uh...ok." the 34 year old dude said. "Would you like hershey or nestle?" the 34 year old dude asked again. He looked at the other hand. "Her...shy..." he said again. Then the 34 year old dude gave him like...2 pounds of choclate. "That will be 30 dollars." the 34 year old dude said.

bum bum bummmmmm.how will Yami pay for the choclate? will Hazen and Bakura blow up the mall? How do we really spell oreachalcos? all the answers will be in the next chapter...if not the next one the one after that...or after that...eventually the answers will be revealed.


	4. there goes the mall and THREE DAYS GRACE...

**Oh yea...uhh...sorry my chapters aren't as long as i thought they were i'm still new**

**Dislcaimer- Kasey Does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, but I think Hazen might..._huh? I heard my name _(FYI: when theres writing up here, in bold, and its slanted, thats Hazen. Same thing in my profile) tee hee hee**

"Uh...did...did you say...30 dollars?" Yami asked twitching. "That's right kid." the 34 year old dude said. "Uh..."

"HEY GET BACK HERE YOU PUNK!" the 34 year old dude said as Yami ran out of the store, trying to drag the chocolate with him. "You'll never take me alive loser!" Yami said as he ran down the street. He looked back. He saw a random police officer after him." OH SHIT!" Yami said turning his head back around.

He ran into an alley to hide. Horrible mistake number 1. He started to walk again thinking that the cop wouldn't be after him. "Ey you, get outta my house." Yami froze. He turned to his horror to find...a bum? "A bum! OH MAN! I THOUGHT THEY WERE EXTINCT!" Yami shouted. "No, I'm alive and well," Bum (yes, his name is Bum) said. "Are you sure? You're wearing raggedy old clothes and you smell like dead - I SAID I WAS FINE!" Bum interrupted him.

"Ok, ok." Yami said trying to hide the chocolate. "Hey kid. I'll get you home with that chocolate...If you give me... tree fiddy." Bum said. "uh...tree fiddy?" Yami repeated. "That's right...treeeee fiddy..." Bum started staring into space... ' I'll have to use Bum to get home. He needs tree fiddy though. And I can't give him my money cause that's what Kasey told me...RA!" Yami thought as he made random expressions on his face.

With Hazen And Bakura...

"OHH! I wanna smell the perfume!" Bakura yelled as he pointed at the lady in the dress holding out perfume. Hazen slapped him across the head. " No baka!" Hazen yelled. "Hey look, it's that girl Anzu." Bakura pointed out. Hazen face turned bright pink. She started grinning. "Bakura, my ignorate...hot- what?" Bakura interupted. "Nothing, my point is. If we blow up the mall," she started. "Yea..." Bakura was lost... "And Anzu's in it...she'll get blown up too!" Hazen exclaimed. Bakura squealed in delight. "Tee hee hee! You're right! Hurry up! I wanna blow them up!" Bakura shouted.

So for the past few minutes, Hazen and Bakura went through the mall looking for a place to plant the bomb. Bakura went to Limited Too...O.o

"Ok, I did it," Hazen said coming out of a shop. "Where'd you put it?" Bakura asked. "Hot Topic," she said grinning. Bakura's eyes went wide and he just looked at her in awe. "HOT TOPIC? NO! TAKE IT OUT! THAT'S WHERE I GET ALL OF MY THREE DAYS GRACE SHIRTS (I had to say that. I love three days grace)!" he yelled in her face. "It's too late now! Come on!" Hazen grabbed Bakura's hand and literally dragged him out.

"Besides," Hazen started. She pulled out what she had in her bag. "THREE DAYS GRACE!" Bakura yelled so loud it echoed through out the mall. He smiled uncontrollably and squeezed his new shirts. "Now let's go you fool!" Hazen yelled at him again and dragged him out.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Hazen stopped. She turned around and saw a red flash where she planted the bomb.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

" OH GOD DAMMIT! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Hazen said as she let go of Bakura and ran. Bakura turned around. " Beep beep beep..." he mimiced the bomb. " Bakuraaaaaaaaaa!" Hazen yelled, "Come on!" Bakura looked around at her. And as he was turning he saw...he saw...he saw... (sighs)

CHEETOS!

"MINE MINE MINE MINE!" Bakura ran to the half bag of cheetos as fast as his legs can take him. (damn, how long does it take this bomb to explode?) He literally dived into the bag of cheetos and had his own little party. "Now all I need is beer!" He shouted. "WRONG STORY! COME ON! (see me story: TO DISTURBING FOR HUMAN EYES.)" Hazen looked at the bomb in awe. It was mysteriously unfolding. "What the hell?" Hazen stared at it. Bakura walked back to her, sgirts in hand, swaying back and forth. "I think I'm high on cheetos." Bakura giggled. "That is it!" Hazen grabbed Bakura by the shirt and threw him out of the mall. She walked out herself casually. "Now let's get the frikin motorcycle." Hazen said trying to remeber where she parked.

She spotted a corner in the parking lot with a small fire going on and gas everywhere. "Oh yea..." Hazen said. She looked for the next best car.

"That's it!"

"What's it?"

"The god damn SUV, baka"

She and Bakura ran to the car. She smashed the window open. She examined the key hole. "I love those stupid mortals...always leaving their keys in the car." she said. She turned the key to start it up...but she was too late...

KAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM! (but Anzu/Tea got bown up! YAY!)

With Yami and Bum...

" Why...tree fiddy?" Yami asked. The bum looked at him..." Why not tree fiddy?" Bum asked as if he had alot of knowledge in...stuff... Yami looked at him like he was a god. "I have 10 dollars," he finally said. "That'llworktoo!" Bum said as he grabbed the money and ran. Yami just watched him run. "not...good..." Yami said. He had to think of a way home. 'I could just sneek around the back alleys' he thought to himself (well duh, of course it was to himself!)

Being as slick and sly as he was, he ran through someone's back yard and surely enough he was home! He looked carfully around the house. "Oh no!" Yami whispered. There were cops all around the house. "COME OU WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" one of the cops yelled. Right around there I popped my head out of the window upstairs.

"GET OUTTA HERE!" I yelled. I, yet again, threw a show at them (I love throwing shoes at people). "OW! She hit me! With a shoe!" the cop placed his hand on the red mark. Yami looked for an opening. Yugi was right behind me trying to climb out the window. "YUGI!" I yelled. I tried to push him back in.

Yami was getting mad at me. "HEY!" he shouted from the bushes. "THERE HE IS! MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE" They ran to the bushes single file like a S.W.A.T. team. Damn...it's only choclate. Yami started goin' a little...coo coo.if yo know what I mean.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! COPPERS!" Yami ran out of the bushes, chocolate in hand, toward the house. Little did he understand there were cops, surrounding the house.

Every cop circled him, so there was definitley no escape. "So uh, I suppose that you're not here to play ring around the rosie?" Yami laughed weakly. "Damn strait," Cop #1 said.

"DOG PILLLLLLEEEEE!" I yelled. The cops did as if it was their cue (how do you spell cue/que?)...hmm...I don't suppose it was, now, was it? "YAMI!" poor kawaii Yugi cried. "Don't worry Yugi, we'll still get the chocolate," I said. After a brutal fight, the cops grabbed poor kawaii unconcious yami and put him in the maniac coat. Or as we like to call it, the "Happy Coat."

Help me!" Yami whinned. "I'll help you when monsters come to life and fight each other!" Yugi shouted.

"THEY DOOO!" Yami told him as the car was getting ready to leave. Yugi gasped. He ran out of the house and ran for the car. It was already starting to drive out.

"NOOOOOOO" Yugi yelled as he ran in slow motion, like Tea did in that duel with Yami and Kaiba at duelist kindom.

"Come BAAAACCCCKKKK!" Yugi tried to run as slowly as he could. The "Happy" car eventually just drove away. After it was up about 5 more feet it stopped again. Yugi ran up to it. The car drove up 10 more feet. Yugi had to run up to it again.

The car kept repeating this process until they just decided to drive away laughing.

I walked up to him. "Damn, that sucks," I said. "I know. Yami's gone." Yugi started to cry.

"No I mean the chocolate. They took it with them."

**WEEE! thats was my best chapter yet I think...with the car moving from Yugi...and tsking Yami to the happy house..and the best part is I pretty much just stood there!**


End file.
